Yea, me too!  I actually have about four going right now.  Half of which are sequels to stories that could use some serious editing (add those to the project list).

I have to admit I find it very hard to concentrate on one thing at a time.  I like the variety that working on more than one story provides me.  I like that if I get stuck in one I can bop on over to another and get my creative juices flowing again.  That is until I feel I can get something going in the other then I get back to it.  Back and forth and back and forth, it seems to work for me so far.  I suppose one could say it helps my productivity in some way as well….since I still end up writing and working, just not on the same story all the way through.

At any rate I am technically doing Nano but have somewhat stalled out on my story there so I’ve grooved on over to another where I’ve written 9,128 words.  I think there is likely a rule somewhere that states you have to work on the same story throughout for word count purposes but if there wasn’t I’d have just under 21K words right now. Of course this doesn’t account for the words written in a third story I’ve been editing but I’ll save that for another day.  LOL

Ultimately since I have been writing consistently (just not the same story) I’m going to pat myself on the back and consider myself accomplished.  November has been a pretty strong month for the word count if I do say so myself.

Sven is very nano-like only over a longer period of time (Nov 10-late January) with a larger word count.  However….dramatic pause….that word count equates to ½ the daily requirement than what Nano is asking of me. The other thing about Sven that I like is that I can use a work in progress I don’t have to start from scratch.  I like that a great deal because I have a story I’m working on right now that I really want to continue to focus on.

So for Sven I’m going to be working on the second in my “Memoirs” series.  The first, titled “Memoirs of a Lifelong Bachelor”, is complete. I’ll post a summary and some excerpts here to get all caught up.  The follow-up is “Memoirs of a Self Imposed Singleton” and I’ve currently got two chapters done.  So picking up early in the game on that one will hopefully help me get through it at a greater clip (perhaps).  There will be a third as well, not yet titled, to tie them all up.

I’m loving Nano and all the friends I’ve made there and through Twitter so I’m definitely going to stay on. I have no intention of stopping my attempts for a positive outcome there at all.  In fact even though I doubt sincerely I’ll be getting the 50K “win” I believe I’ll be a winner by achieving some self-set goals.  Mainly, I really wanted to use that challenge as a way to get myself into a routine where I write daily and so far I’ve been pretty successful at that.

I will admit though, that the pace is a bit too aggressive for me.  I think Sven will be better suited to my style given the fact that it spans a greater amount of time and the word count requirements don’t to seem to be as aggressive on a per day basis.  With Sven I don’t think I’ll feel like I’m in a race to compete for numbers rather I’ll be in a situation where I’m more relaxed and can also focus on quality.

I’m excited!  Can’t wait to get working on this new challenge!

Chapter Three: Tell Me Baby

Shuffling into Double Down Keaghan kept his head hung low.  The evening before had been rough for a myriad of reasons not the least of which was his argument with Neve.  He’d excused himself from her presence finally having heard more than he could bear to hear in an hour’s time.  Closing himself off physically and emotionally he escaped to their bedroom to compose himself before returning back out to help with Liam’s bedtime ritual.

Standing in the doorway of the room his little boy occupied Keaghan watched as Neve tucked Liam’s favorite stuffed bear under the covers next to him.  Shifting herself closer she pressed her lips to his forehead and told her son how very much she loved him.  With a yawn and a nod he passed his love to her in return then nudged the book on the bed nearby in her direction. 

Angling around Neve adjusted her position so that her back was pressed against the headboard of Liam’s child-sized bed.  Opening the cover of his selection she looked up for only a moment to catch Keaghan’s eyes.  He was unsure though what was reflected back was it hurt or love, understanding, or perhaps compassion because just as quickly as she glanced at him he darted his own eyes away.

Listening in as the soft tones of her voice lulled their son into sleep Keaghan felt his heart swell with love for his family.  They painted the perfect picture of contentment all snuggled up next to each other.  Suddenly saddened by the overwhelming feeling that the picture wouldn’t grow beyond the colorful strokes he’d been watching before his eyes tonight Keaghan drew himself back and once again shut himself away.

Toying with the idea of going out to the couch when Neve finally came in for bed he let it go when she respected his distance.  Miserable with the current state of affairs the last thing he wanted was to feel her warmth, to have her body pressed so tightly against his that he didn’t know where she ended and he began. 

It would be so easy to get lost in the physical aspects of their relationship; to let her kiss him in to submission and use her body to placate him.  But not last night, she must have known that last night he was not at all interested in pushing his feelings aside.

Normally reaching out for his wife and enveloping her into a tight embrace it felt odd to be so distant.  He was sure that if he were looking down upon them from above he would see she was pressed as far to the edge of the mattress on her side as he was to his, between them a giant chasm of empty space.

It was that empty space, the rumpled piles of sheets and blankets that created the physical manifestation of the emotional barrier between them that now kept him awake.  Unwilling to close the gap Keaghan spent what felt like an eternity staring up at the dim reflections of moonlight on their ceiling. 

Mostly unsuccessful in his attempts to fall asleep it was in the restless early morning hours of being unsettled in their bed that exhaustion had thankfully won out.  Giving in Keaghan finally fell in to a restless morning of sleep. 

Having woken up after only a couple of hours Keaghan had quickly showered and changed while Neve was tending to Liam’s breakfast and bath.  With a quick kiss of his son’s forehead he muttered his goodbyes and left the house and everyone in it behind for a much needed day of wallowing.  Thankfully he knew exactly where the best place in town was for sulking.  He’d been there many times prior for just this reason so one more time certainly wouldn’t make a difference now. 

Landing at the casino’s doorstep, or gangplank as it were, Keaghan boarded the creaky old vessel and sought out the one person who had always provided him decent insight.

 “What’s up Doc Love?” Red asked as he watched Keaghan practically trip over himself to get seated on a bar stool.

Reaching for a beer from the ice chest below the bar Red popped it open and slid the bottle across the mahogany of the bar to his friend’s waiting hand.  He knew it was early but by the looks of the dark circles and bags large enough to pack a ten day vacation under Keaghan’s eyes that there was more to it. 

“You look like you just lost your favorite toy.”

Despite the early hour Keaghan happily accepted the beer Red offered.  Swilling down a mouthful he replaced the bottle on the napkin that magically appeared before starting to rip away at the dampened label on the bottle.

“In a manner of speaking I have.”

Familiar with how to work through Keaghan’s usual process of unloading Red started to wipe the bar down with a fresh towel.  As had happened so many times before the young man came here gain some much needed perspective and it just so happened that the barkeep’s life experience seemed always to relate in some way. 

Assuming that the reason for this visit was the one that always seemed to spurn his presence at Double Down Red nodded knowingly.

“What happened between you and your fair doctor wife?”

Tearing the corner of the label off the bottle entirely Keaghan began to roll the foil like material into a small ball.

“She’s decided she doesn’t want any more children.”

Surprised by the revelation Red stopped all movement and looked his friend from top to bottom.

“That’s kind of sudden huh?”

“Yea totally.” Keaghan nodded mindlessly the emotion of his frayed nerves straining his voice, “Like the out of nowhere kind of sudden.”

Staying silent for several minutes Red watched as the young man continued to pick at the remaining portion of the beer label.  Knowing full well that Neve never did anything without thinking, over analyzing really, he know that she likely did not come to this decision lightly.  She’d been over all of the possible ramifications and results researching and formulating all types of different scenarios.

“Why is it she’s decided that?” he asked cautiously, “I always thought she wanted a whole bunch of kids.”

Shrugging Keaghan brought his drink to his mouth and emptied the entirety of the bottle in a manner of seconds.  Letting the bottle fall to the bartop with a thud he slid the empty towards Red in silent request for another.

“I’d say that is the impression I’d gotten too but apparently I misinterpreted it all.”

Fulfilling the unspoken order for more Red popped open a fresh bottle.  Pouring some salt on a fresh napkin he placed the condensation covered bottle down.

“Did she give any reasons as to why she’s changed her mind so abruptly?”

Twirling the bottle between his gingers Keaghan stared at the droplets of water as they splayed across the wood of the bar. 

“She claims she’s too scared after what she went through with Liam.”

The fact that he completely understood where her fears were stemming from Keaghan couldn’t actually blame her for not wanting to move forward.  Between the conception, miscarriage and medical crises the road to Liam was filled with seemingly insurmountable potholes.  But in the end they navigated the rocky terrain and came through to the end of the road with a healthy child to show for it. 

No it wasn’t her fears that had Keaghan down it was his own sadness that he would never share that bond with his wife.  Loving Liam like his own flesh and blood is a privilege and he couldn’t imagine life without the little boy.  But he wanted to share that bond with Neve.  He wanted to create that tiny piece of the future that was just a little bit of him and a little bit of her.

How is it that Neve could shut herself off so completely to the idea of that?  Did she not want that connection with him like she did with her?

“It was a pretty harrowing experience for her.” Red announced, interrupting his thoughts.

“Yea, for me too….” Keaghan huffed slightly annoyed that his friend was presumably going to take his wife’s side in the matter, “….and yet I still want to have kids with her.”

Stepping back Red leaned against the other side of the bar.  He hadn’t realized just how upset his friend was until this very moment but boy he knew now. 

Sadly, it appeared that history was repeating itself.  The only difference this time is that he and Red both had experience with the matter at hand Keaghan just needed a reminder of that.

“I’m not trying to minimize your feelings in this whole deal but your part in it all is significantly different than hers.”

Glaring at Red Keaghan wondered exactly why it was that he came to The Double Down at all.  He needed support, someone to take his side, yet here he was defending his feelings yet again.

“I know, I know….her body her choice and all that.” Keaghan replied snidely.

Knowing that he had to navigate these murky waters carefully Red tried to wake his friend up to the more important aspect of the burgeoning situation.

“Yea that’s true but do you honestly think the majority of her concern is about the physical stuff?”

Unsure where Red was going with his commensts Keaghan’s curiosity was piqued, “What do you mean?”

Moving to the far end of the bar Red took hold of a full case of beer and lugged it over to the ice chest.  Tearing open the top of the cardoard carton he started to place the bottles in the empty stainless bin.

“I mean….” he paused momentarily to stand upright, “….Neve is an extremely strong and independent woman.

Navigating to the other side of the bar Red retrieved a bucket of ice.  Lugging it over to the chest he hoisted it up and filled in the spaces between bottles.

“She’s deeply in love with you man.”

Narrowing his glare Keaghan pointed a bit of vehemence in Red’s direction, “You think I don’t know any of that?”

Holding his hands up Red took a step back, “Whoa, I know you do.”

“But,” he paused for effect before working his way back towards a second bucket of ice, “what I’m trying to say is that if her reasons were only about the body parts of it all she’d be going forward both guns blazing.  She would risk her life to have a child with you.”

Relaxing slightly Keaghan slouched down against the back of his bar stool.  He felt desperate and erratic and needy — all emotions he didn’t particularly enjoy.  But even so, there was a strange sense of peace sitting here talking to his friend.  Red had seen him through one of the most difficult times in his life and knowing that he could rely on his honest opinion gave him a slight feeling of confidence.

“So what do you think her disconnect really is?”

Dropping more cubes of ice into the chest Red raised his voice to be heard over the sound of them clanging against the bottles.

“I suspect she’s all twisted up in knots in her mind doc.  I’d bet you big bucks she’s worried about your feelings and how you’d withstand another deal like the last one.”

Leaning back forward Keaghan brought his forearms to rest against the cool wood of the bar.

“That’s absurd.  We’ve already talked about my feelings after we brought Liam home.”

Depositing the empty barrel within the other he previously discarded Red folded his arms over his chest.

“Yes but did she tell you everything?” he asked, “Or did she tell you what she thought you wanted to hear?”

“I thought she was being honest” Keaghan replied his mind starting to turn a mile a minute, “but since last night I’ve been wondering if I know my wife at all any more.”

Running his hand behind his neck he let out a prolonged sigh of discontent, “Why not just add this little nugget to the list of things slapping me in the face out of nowhere.”

Gulping down the remainder of the beer he had Keaghan slid the empty bottle towards Red. 

“I don’t think she’s lying to you man. I think she’s trying to protect you.”

When the older gentleman reached to hand him a refill he gestured for him to stop.  Drinking himself into oblivion might feel good for a little bit but ultimately he’d pay the price for it in the end.  He always did.

 “From what?” he spat out incredulously.

Opening the cash register Red took out the receipts from the evening before.  Scattering them across the bar he began to rifle through and organize to the best of his ability.

“In her mind she’s probably got it all mapped out.” he replied flippantly returning his attention to the slips of paper he was sorting, “Neve probably thinks that if she refuses to have another rugrat you’ll dodge the bullet of having to make life and death decisions again.”

Sliding one of the not so neatly organized piles of receipts to his left Red went to work on a second.

“I betcha she’s even got that busy brain of hers in pre-worry mode.  She’s probably already at a worst case scenario that’s ten times as bad as the last.”

Sliding the second pile he composed to the right Red worked on the final stack.

“At this point she’s talked herself into the thought that she’s protecting you from that.”

Recognizing that what Red was saying had merit to it Keaghan grabbed his discarded napkin and started to wrap it around his fingers.

“But, she’s in perfect physical shape now.”

“Did you all think that with Liam too?” Red asked matter-of-factly

Organizing his piles of customer receipts Red whipped out a bank deposit bag from behind the bar and stuffed them in.

”Look, I’m not trying to convince you of anything here.  I’m just merely leading you down a path we both know Neve is already walking.”

“I just don’t understand why she would go to the extent of no children at all.” Keaghan rasped emotionally, “It’s like we’re right back where we started years ago.”

Rubbing his tired eyes he tried to reign in his disappointment, “We’re back to that place where she makes all the decisions about how we live our lives and I just have to accept it.”

Amazed that he hadn’t thought of that line of reasoning himself Red silently kicked himself for not knowing that Keaghan’s mind would go there.  It was such a huge issue between he and Neve the first go round of course his friend would feel as if history was repeating itself here.

“Have you spread that particular little nugget of joy her way yet?”

“Does it matter?” Keaghan sneered suddenly, “I told her my feelings on that matter last time and she promised it wouldn’t be like that again.

Throwing the wadded up napkin he’d been pressing tightly into his frustrated hand onto the bar Keaghan curled his lip.

“Yet here we are.”

Hoping to diffuse the tension and animosity before it got too far out of hand Red made an effort to shrug the whole business off.

“Our women are who they are.” Red shrugged, “If you can’t hack it junior maybe you need to find yourself someone else.”

Faced with the thought of that reality Keaghan got slightly more reserved.

“I don’t want anyone else, you know that.”

“Then work through it.” Red tossed out.

Never a man to feed into the frenzy Keaghan looked Red over.  He supposed that was the reason he came to speak with the old man he was honest to a fault, pulled no punches, and always provided much needed perspective.

“Gee thanks Red, as always your compassion and understanding overwhelms.” Keaghan deadpanned.

With that Red knew Keaghan was going to be okay.  He knew by the sarcastic tone in the young man’s voice that he’d understood where the conversation was leading him and he’d accepted it.

“You don’t come here for either of those girly emotions.” Red laughed, “You come here because you need to hear the truth.”

“Truth according to you.” Keaghan prodded deftly, “I’m not entirely sure that’s how Neve sees it all.”

Waving him off Red took the bank deposit bag in hand and walked it over to the cash register.

“Whatever, you know I’m right.  Now go talk to your wife and get all the crap out on the table.”

Lifting his tired body from the bar stool he’d been occupying Keaghan straightened his rumpled clothes.  Once satisfactorily adjusted he smiled in Red’s direction.

“Thanks for the help Red.”

Nodding he waved Keaghan off again. “Yeah, yeah….whatever.  Get out.”

Nodding himself Keaghan chuckled at the brash way his friend dismissed him.  Walking back the way he’d arrived he waved a quick goodbye and did exactly as he was told.  He got out.

Chapter Two: Combat Baby

“That was the most exhausting day I think we’ve ever had.”

Dropping her purse on the table by the front door Neve trudged into the living room and collapsed on the couch.

“We should have seen about getting Liam a babysitter.”

Tossing his keys and wallet into the bowl on that same table Keaghan crouched down and removed Liam’s jacket.

“Yea, chasing him through all those houses didn’t speed the process up any.”

Removing Liam’s jacket and hat Keaghan patted down the wild strands of hair sticking straight up from his head.

“I want you to go back into your room and look through your books for a bed time story.  Mommy and I will be in to help you change and finish getting ready in minute.”

Pressing his small hands to his father’s cheeks Liam bobbed his head then snuggled up closely to Keaghan’s torso.

“Daddy?”

Smiling as his son yawned so widely that practically his entire face was engulfed in the creases created Keaghan held the boy into a loose embrace to keep him upright.

“Yea Sprout?”

In a voice so soft and dreamy from exhaustion the young boy answered, “I wee-ally wee-ally like the last one.”

Rubbing soft circles on Liam’s back Keaghan released a soft tired breath of his own.

“That’s because you like the play set in the back yard.”

Giggling, Liam let a knowing smile creep up to his lips.

“Nuh – uh.”

Rising to her feet Neve walked over and put her hand on Liam’s shoulder, “Alright you, time to head in.  Go do as Daddy asked then we’ll be in to tuck you in and read.”

Rising to his feet Keaghan watched Liam’s retreating form vanish down the hallway.  Once out of sight he moved over to the couch and placed himself squarely in the center.

“I have to say though, bringing Liam with did give us an idea about how we’d have to manage him in any one of those houses.”

Dropping down next to him Neve snuggled into the space between her husband’s torso and the arm he had extended over the back cushions of the sofa.

“True enough.” Neve agreed dropping her head on his shoulder, “I think the two floor option is the best as far as managing him goes.”

Not surprised that she’d prefer less ground to have to travel when caring for Liam Keaghan still lobbied for the three-floored Victorian they had viewed last.

“I did like that one with the finished basement.”

Leaning forward Neve smirked up at her husband knowingly,  “Only because you envision some man room with a pool table, wet bar and 100 inch plasma screen television.”

“That room was a thing of beauty wasn’t it?” Keaghan gushed, “I mean come on Neve, imagine how much peace and quiet you’ll get with me all the way down there.”

Patting his leg several times Neve deadpanned, “Except, while you’re downstairs manning up with all your fun toys I’ll be upstairs caring for our son who is not really a bearer of peace or quiet.”

“I’ll take him downstairs with me.” Keaghan replied matter-of-factly, “He can’t be versed in football, baseball, racing and any other sport too soon as far as I’m concerned.”

Laughing from the depths of her belly Neve dropped her head back down to his shoulder and shook it back and forth.

“How benevolent of you but I think I’ll take a pass on raising a Neanderthal.  I’d like for him to have just a smidge of intellect too.”

Feigning indignation Keaghan playfully pushed Neve off his shoulder and wrapped hs arms over his chest in a huff.
“I’ll have you know that designing sports plays and strategizing are highly intellectual.”

Turning to face her Keaghan brought his leg up to the couch and bent it at the knee.  Tangling the lace of his shoe around his finger he smiled bashfully.

“How about we split his time up?  Three days a week he’ll be a sportsman downstairs with me and three days a week he’ll be a nerd upstairs with you.”

Mirroring his position Neve too folded her leg up underneath her. Pursing her lips in a pout she furrowed her brows until the entirety of her forehead crinkled into several wrinkled folds.

“Hey, I resent that.  I’m not a nerd I’m bookish.” she deadpanned.

“Face it sweetheart you’re a nerd.” Keaghan laughed taking hold of her hand and bringing it to his lips, ”But you’re the sexiest nerd I’ve ever seen so I say it with the utmost respect, admiration and desire.”

Laughing incredulously at her husband Neve slipped her hands from his andran them through her hair.

“Whatever.  You do realize that there are seven days a week right?”

Creasing his forehead much in the way she had just done Keaghan shrugged.

“Yea?  You’re point?”

“Well you’ve only accounted for six in that stellar plan of yours.” she replied.

“Ohhhh, right.” he nodded knowingly now seeing her point, “ Well I thought at least one day a week Liam could spend at some friend or family member’s house.”

“Why?” Neve asked curiously.

Ever since Liam had been born neither of them felt the need to pawn him off on family or friends.  Sure, the occasional evening out or weekend away but regularly scheduled outings without them was not something they felt was necessary.

Having always enjoyed Liam’s company Neve now wondered why suddenly Keaghan was interested in a day a week away.

“I figure we’ll need one day to ourselves for baby making and the like.”

Suddenly understanding where it was he was going with this direction in the conversation Neve’s posture immediately stiffened.  Going momentarily silent she stared at him with widened eyes until she finally mustered up the ability to respond

“Right” she sighed, “I should have thought of that.”

The change in his wife’s stature and tone not going unnoticed Keaghan began to get into a defensive posture of his own.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Hoping desperately for a change in subject Neve repositioned her rigid body to face forward and away from her husband.

“Sure you know you can ask me anything.”

“Why are you suddenly so averse to having another child?” he asked.

Disheartened that he wasn’t going to let the subject go Neve’s discomfort increased.  Conflict pulsing through her body her mind raced with possibilities as to how she could get out of this conversation.  She didn’t want to have it yet but she also knew her husband deserved an explanation.

“I’m….I’m not adverse.” she stammered weakly.

Feeling the irritation bubbling up Keaghan grabbed one of the throw pillows on the couch and dropped it firmly into his lap.  Wrapping one of the pieces of fringe around his finger until the tip turned blue he tried to remain as calm as he could.  Tired and cranky from lack of sleep the night before as well as a day chasing after their son in various empty houses had his patience at an all time low and if Neve continued to dodge him he had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to hold back his temper.

“Really?  Could have fooled me.” He growled.

Wincing at his slight change in temperament Never braced herself.  She knew he wouldn’t be pleased about her reaction but she didn’t calculate in the factor that he would be angry.

“What does that mean?” she asked tightly trying to reign in her own frustration.

Fiddling with the fringe around his numb finger Keaghan kept his eyes plastered to the blue digit it was wrapped around.

“It just seems like every time I mention it you get all rigid and distant.”

“Are you kidding me?” Neve asked in amazement, “You’ve brought it up twice in the past twenty-four hours after we haven’t spoken about the possibility in over at least a year.”

Hopping up from the couch she started grabbing at some of Liam’s toys strewn across the floor.  Dropping them into the toy chest across the room she swiveled around to face her husband.

“Am I supposed to jump right on board without any thought to it just because you say hop to?”

Now his turn to wince Keaghan let the fringe fall back to the pillow before setting the entire bolster aside.

“No not at all.” he responded gruffly, “But I do find it odd that suddenly you are so spooked by it.”

Searching the room for something else to occupy her physically Neve fell short when she saw that all of Liam’s toys were returned to their proper homes.

“I’m not spooked I just want to give the issue the attention it deserves without feeling rushed into it.  Having another child isn’t a small matter that requires little attention.”

Startled to hear her call having another child an issue it was Keaghan’s turn to get up from the couch.  Pacing across the floor away from his wife he made his way to the kitchen.

“I never said it was or did.  But I’d like to think that you’re just even remotely interested in the possibility at all and right now I don’t get that feeling at all.”

Hearing only silence in response he opened one of the cabinets and retrieved a glass.  Filling it first with ice then with water he took several gulps before turning around and going back into the living room.

Standing there waiting Neve had wrapped her arms tightly across her chest.  She was in protective mode now.  She always got herself wrapped practically in knots trying to don her imaginary suit of armor.

“That is patently unfair.  How do you get I’m not interested from anything I’ve said or done?” she asked.

Placing his glass on a coaster Keaghan watched as the condensation started to collect in the tiny tray.

“Could it be the fact that you physically lock up every time I mention it?”

Dropping back down on to the couch he sifted the fingers of both his hands through his hair before dropping his gaze to the floor.

“God Neve, it looks like you’re ready to vomit every time the words children or baby come out of my mouth.”

Hearing the strain in his voice Neve made a step toward him only to see his hand go up in a silent plea to stop.

“Or maybe it’s the way you referred to having children with me as something that’s akin to birthing animals.”

Trying desperately to keep the emotion in his voice evenly toned he continued to keep his eyes to the floor.  He knew that if he didn’t the instant he raised them to meet hers he would lose his ability to hold it all in and what he wanted more than anything right now was to avoid having her see how much he was hurt by this.

Sure his words told the story but in the end if his heart was beating on his sleeve he wouldn’t be as able to turn things around if he needed to.

”I mean, gee, how I could ever view that as disinterest is beyond me.”

Despite the fact that she knew that her comment from before had cut him to the quick she tried frantically to defend herself.

“I didn’t mean it like that.  I couldn’t mean it like that Keaghan you know that.”

Finally mustering up the courage to look at her he brought his face upright.  Their eyes meeting he let his stare penetrate into hers.

“Then how did you mean it?  Because from this side of the world it was plain to see that you find the very idea contemptible.”

Her heart dropping into her stomach Neve rushed to his side and sat on the couch next to him.  Reaching out she took his hand in hers.  Rubbing small circles on his palm with her thumb she hoped that she could make him see how much she loved him.

“Keaghan it’s not that I don’t want to have a child ever it’s just that I’m not ready yet.”

Slipping his hand out of hers Keaghan rose from the couch again and walked across the room to the window.  Staring out into the night sky he shook his head.
“It’s been three years since you had Liam Neve and right up until about six months ago you were gushing with enthusiasm about having another child.  What happened that changed that so suddenly?”

Following closely behind Neve arrived by his side and brought her hand to the small of his back.  Startled when he stiffened at her touch she quickly removed it away.

“I don’t know.” she said meekly, “I guess I’m just scared.”

Still keeping his gaze on the blackness outside their window Keaghan gripped the windowsill so tightly Neve could see his knuckles turn white.

“But why?  Did you find out something that you haven’t shared with me?”

Making one more attempt at physical contact Neve reached out and placed a hand over one of his.

“No, nothing like that.  It’s just that as we move closer to the reality of having another child I get more nervous. I just don’t think I’m ready.”

Relieved when he didn’t recoil from her again Neve inched closer still.

“What specifically are you afraid of?” he asked.

Frightened by the possibility that he wouldn’t understand but empowered by the opportunity to speak honestly about her fears Neve wrapped her other hand around his bicep for support.

“I just….I had such a difficult time physically and emotionally last time.  I don’t know if I’ prepared for that.  I don’t know if I can go through all of that again.”

Finally turning to face her Keaghan’s eyes bore into her own.  The look of pleading shimmering in the pools of liquid collecting there practically breaking her heart.

“Right now.” he finished for her, “You don’t know if you can go through that again right now.  Right?”

Now her turn to look away, Neve pointed then downward towards the floor.

Her voice barely a whisper she shook her head, “No, Keagh, I don’t know if I can go through that again at all.”

Removing his arm from her grasp he backed away.

“I….I see.”

Lunging towards him as he hastily started to depart she missed him by only a centimeter.

“Aren’t we happy?  We’re happy as a family right?” she plead to his back as he took his glass from the table and headed for the kitchen.

“Yea, right.  We’re happy.  Clearly.  Yea.” Keaghan chocked out.

He was done pretending it was ok.  He was done pretending not to be upset and he was most certainly done hiding his emotions.  If Neve was going to call the shots about their family she was just going to have to live with the consequences of her decisions.

“Keaghan, please don’t be upset.  I don’t know if I can take you being upset about this it’s hard enough as it is.”

Amazed that she actually had the gall to ask for him to make it easier on her he felt his anger boil over.  Turning on a dime he came to within an inch of her.  His face flush with resentment he did his best to hold himself back.

“I’m sorry.” he seethed, “I didn’t realize that I was supposed to be excited and happy about your unilateral decision about our family. Forgive me for being so selfish.”

Unsure what to say anymore Neve started to stammer, “It….it’s not like that.”

Opening the dishwasher Keaghan placed his used glass onto the upper shelf then closed it again.  He figured that if he just kept himself busy with mundane tasks he would be able to calm down.

Taking a few deep breaths to try and settle both his stomach and his nerves he evened out his tone of voice to a low monotone whisper.

“Really?  Because from where I stand that is exactly what it’s feeling like.”

Closing the door to the washer he turned again and exited the kitchen.

“Keaghan please just listen….”

Unable to look his wife in the face for fear she would see how broken his heart truly was he kept his head low as he angled around her to the hallway.

“If you’ll excuse me I have a bit of a headache.”

“Keagh wait….”

It was too late though as he’d already worked his way back into their bedroom and closed himself in for the second time today.

The feeling of her rigid body as he talked of the possibility of having another child lingered roughly in Keaghan’s mind.  It would be one thing if her reaction simply stemmed from being caught off guard but as they progressed further into the conversation he knew it was more.  Her body language and tone of voice gave the distinct impression of a woman disinterested in building a family.

By the light of morning their conversation drilled so many tiny holes of doubt into his brain he thought for sure his head would explode.  Curious as to why she suddenly felt so adverse about having a second child he’d spent the better part of the night racking his brain for reasons why.  By the time he’d finally gotten up from the couch and made way to their bedroom his head was throbbing with all the rampant thoughts tap dancing around his brain.  Yet he still had no answers.

Even now, after a night that included very little sleep, each drop of rain trailing down the windows seemed to roar through the room.  Not even a syllable closer to an answer he sat in the darkness of early morning listening to the thunderous pounding inside his head.  Thinking back on it now he wondered if there were other signs indicating her apprehension.  Signs perhaps he had missed in his excitement.

“But why?” he wondered aloud to himself.

For months before she’d been inseminated with Liam she had talked about how wonderful it would be to have more than one child.  Even after she reasoned very clearly, on more than one occasion, that she knew what it was like growing up an only child she knew that at times it could be a lonely and isolating experience.  Neve didn’t want that for Liam, she wanted him to have someone to share a close bond with, someone closer to his own age.

Shaking his head hoping to clear out the beating of the drums Keaghan couldn’t stop himself from chattering.

“Why would she change her mind about that?”

Leaning back into the downy cushions of the couch he dropped his head back.

“She wouldn’t change her mind about that would she?”

Staring up at the ceiling he tried to piece anything he could grasp at together; racking his brain for clues he may have missed over time.  A look here a comment there anything that would make her reaction last night clearer than a mud puddle.

“Maybe I’m reading to much into it.  Maybe I’m seeing things that aren’t really there.”

His biggest problem at the moment?  They had not recently discussed the idea of more children.  Without that finding any real indication on the reasoning for her reaction would be difficult at best.

“Just drop it man.  Leave it alone and revisit the issue with her later.”

Only he couldn’t, he couldn’t get it out of his mind. The apartment seemed even more stifling with the soft oranges of dawn than it had when they decided the evening before that house hunting would be a good idea.  It was like in that one instant of apprehension on Neve’s part all of the walls began to close in.  He could feel the air thicken and the heat rise taking with it all breathable oxygen.

Rising from the warmth of the couch Keaghan shuffled to the front door.  Though much smaller in stature than the night before the apartment was tranquil and quiet with Liam and Neve still asleep.  It was so blissfully silent that the only noise to be heard currently was the sound of his pajama bottoms rustling against the hardwood floor.

Opening the door he bustled himself against the crisp fall air that was blowing aimlessly through their breezeway.  Grabbing hold of the Sunday newspaper he quickly shut the door and made his way backwards to return to the cozy warmth of the inner portions of their apartment. Navigating back through the main living space he took up final residence in the dining area.

Dropping the thick paper on the empty table he tossed the front pages of several sections aside until he found real estate section.  If he was going to be up and obsessing he might as well do it productively.  At the very least he could make the attempt to have something tangible to show for his hours of sleeplessness.

“Daddy, daddy!”

Hearing the squeal of his son’s excited voice echoing from down the hall Keaghan barely had enough time to turn around before the young boy was sliding across the floor catapulting himself into his father’s arms.

“Hey Sprout, what’s got you so excited this morning?”

Chuckling at the way the boy wriggled in his arms Keaghan rose to full height and carried him the rest of the way to the table.  Sitting in one of the chairs he settled Liam on his lap.

“It’s Sunday.” Liam replied his voice an audible shrug and as nonchalant as a child his age could be.

“And Sunday is exciting because?” Neve asked tiredly making her presence among them now known.

Shuffling towards her son and husband Neve yawned deeply before bending over each for kisses to temples.

“Cartoons mommy.” Liam answered animatedly bringing both his hands to rest on her cheeks, “Today is good cartoons day.”

Nodding her head in understanding Neve rose to full height and curled her fingers in her son’s hair.  Tousling the already messy locks she watched lovingly as he shook her off.

“Ahhhh yes I should have known it revolved around some sort of animated thing-a-ma-bob.”

Raising his eyes to her Liam furrowed his brows and waved a finger in her face, “Silly mommy.”

Taking hold of that same finger Neve waved it back and forth as her husband spoke to their son.

“What do you say you head into the bathroom and wash your hands while mommy and I get breakfast ready?”

“But Daddy,” Liam whined and pouted, “barnyard animals are on already.”

Recognizing Liam’s shorthand name for his favorite cartoon Keaghan lifted the boy from his lap and set him to stand on the floor.

“Well then you better hurry you don’t want to miss any more than you already have.”

Watching the blur of light as Liam sped away towards the bathroom.  Shaking his head at his son’s dramatic and rapid departure Keaghan reached out and wrapped his fingers around Neve’s wrist before she too could get away.  Drawing her closer to him he gently placed her on his lap.  Circling his arms around her waist he let his hands come to rest on her abdomen.

“Back to the Barnyard is clearly a never miss half hour of animated enjoyment.  I swear he gets more hyper every day.”

Nodding her head in agreement Neve yawned just before dropping it down to rest on his shoulder.

“It’s exhausting isn’t it?” she laughed softly.

Leaning back several inches Keaghan took in his wife’s appearance. Her eyes were roomy and lids puffy.  Much like him it seemed she didn’t get much sleep the evening before.

“Do you want to go back to bed for awhile?” he asked, “ Because I can make breakfast for Liam and I if you do.”

Extricating herself from Keaghan’s grasp Neve stood beside him.  Weaving her fingers into his hair, as she had done with their son moments earlier, she let them massage his scalp.

“No, no….I just need some coffee. Besides I like our lazy Sunday mornings.  Nothing is better than breakfast and couch dwelling.”

Silently agreeing Keaghan wondered how lazy their Sunday morning really would be.  Considering how restless each of them were coupled with the task they had planned for the day he doubted sincerely that relaxation was going to be number one on their to do list.  Rustling the section of the paper he’d just separated out Keaghan angled it towards his wife and gave a pointed stare.

Meeting his silent declaration with a heavy sigh Neve nodded, “I know, house hunting today.”

Turning in his chair so that Neve was now standing between his open legs Keaghan began to play with the tie to her bathrobe.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s kind of gloomy out anyway the perfect day to snuggle into the house for the day if you prefer.”

“No….no, if we keep Liam holed up here all day it will be impossible to get him to bed tonight.” Neve replied placing her hands over his as they fiddled with the tie.

Pulling her closer Keaghan placed his hands on her hips, “I could take him out to one of those kids gyms and have him expend a little energy.  Give you a day off.”

“Really Keagh I want to go house hunting.” Neve announced half-heartedly.

Even though she knew they needed someplace bigger than their two-bedroom apartment for some reason she just wasn’t all that interested in getting out there and looking.  Unfortunately she knew there wasn’t any way to really avoid it at this point and Liam really would be happier with more room to play in.

Pasting a smile on her face Neve angled herself back a bit, “We need to find someplace bigger.  Hopefully something with a back yard so Liam can play in the snow and have a jungle gym and the things that other kids his age have.”

Dropping his hands into his lap Keaghan agreed, “Alright as long as you’re sure.”

“I’m positive.” Neve answered, “Now, let me see about getting some breakfast put together here.”

As she turned to head towards the kitchen Keaghan gently grasped hold of her arm one more time.  Using his other free hand to retrieve the paper on the table he handed it to her.

“How about this, why don’t you take the real estate section and go to the couch.  Start looking through and circling some possibilities while I get coffee and breakfast ready.”

Her eyes lighting up for the first time all morning Neve practically squealed as loudly as Liam had minutes before.

“Really?  You aren’t too tired from work yesterday?”

Standing Keaghan removed the remainder of the Sunday paper from the dining table and brought it against his chest.

“No more tired than you are from a day hanging out with our over active son.”

Rising on her toes Neve gifted her husband with a soft kiss to the cheek.

“That would be fabulous.  Truly amazing.”

“Please, like I would be anything but.” he crowed proudly his voice laced with faux cockiness.

“And there is the man I married.” Neve swiped at his chest, “God forbid we go a day without a little self-worshipping arrogance.”

Smiling down at his wife Keaghan bussed her lips quickly before excusing himself to the kitchen.

“True, but it’s one of the reasons you love me so.”

Once among the stainless steel appliances he dropped the paper he’d been holding on to the counter. Going about the business of making their breakfast he put a filter and grinds in the coffeemaker, eggs began to sizzle in an overheated pan, and cereal chimed against the plastic of a child-sized bowl.  Assuring that each person had their mornings desire he set the table and finished up by filled the juice glasses.

Preparations now complete and with all food on the table Keaghan moved out into the living space.  Stopping just short of his announcement that breakfast was ready and waiting he observed how lovely his family looked.

Neve was curled up on her favorite oversized chair with a blanket draped over her legs.  Circling away on the newspaper he could see the deep lines of concentration painted on her forehead.  Moving his gaze across the room he noticed that while he was busy Liam had made his way back out and planted himself on the floor in front of the television.  Sitting Indian style the child’s rapt attention was firmly on the glowing box mere inches away.

“How are Otis, Bessy and the barnyard gang this morning Sprout?”

Completely enthralled with the dancing and wiggling farm animals flickering on the screen before him Liam made no movement to answer.

“Don’t bother, he can’t hear you.” Neve giggled.

Scuffling across the room Keaghan placed himself on the arm of her chair, “I bet I can get his attention.”

“No way no how.” she laughed, “Not until the end of this show anyway.”

Returning her attention to the newspaper she circled another advertisement before looking up at her husband.

“That is unless you want to make him cry.”

Standing back up Keaghan placed his hands on his hips and donned a playful stance.

“Wanna wager on it?”

“I have all the money I need already.” Neve shrugged mindlessly tapping her [en to her forehead.

“You do, do you?” Keaghan laughed.

Looking up she batted her eyelashes, “Yes.  I married a world class surgeon and we have a joint checking account.”

“Damn.” He huffed sarcastically, “So now we’ll have to think of something else to bet.”

Jumping up lightheartedly Neve waved the real estate section in her husbands face.

“Winner gets to pick the house?”

A skeptical look washing over his face he quirked an eyebrow and effectively dashed her hopes.

“Hardly.  That is something we most assuredly need to agree on.”

Pouting as if she were the child instead of their son Neve began to follow here now retreating husband towards the table.

“Fine, fine.”

“Lets see what can we come up with?” Keaghan pondered, “I think….I think it should be winners choice.”

Dropping into her chair Neve immediately took hold of the coffee pot and poured both herself and Keaghan a cup.

“Dare I ask what that means exactly?”

Holding the carafe steady Keaghan poured a splash of cream into Neve’s mug then a bit into his own.

“I mean that whomever wins the bet will get to make the other to do whatever they want and said person will have to do it no questions asked.”

Narrowing her eyes cynically Neve spooned some sugar into her coffee.

“Anything?”

“Within reason.” Keaghan waved, “Nothing illegal certainly.”

Painting a lurid smile on his face he leaned over the dark wood of the dining table and nuzzled his wife’s neck.

“But….a lot of what’s running through my mind right now could be considered illegal in at least a handful of States.”

“States in the Bible belt I’m sure.” She laughed nervously.

Even after everything they had been through in the past several years.  Even in having the most benign of conversations on the most benign of days her husband still gave her butterflies.  Her stomach erupting in an excited stream of flips and flops.

“Probably.” He finished with a chaste kiss of her lips, “I’d think the more cosmopolitan States wouldn’t be as adverse to such expressions of payment.”

Swatting at him for the second time Neve barely missed as he leaned backwards to stand back on his side of the table.

“You’re so bad!  Our son is right over there you know.”

Breaking from his stance Keaghan practically skipped towards the kitchen, “Not for long bet loser.”

“Whatever.” Neve huffed unable to keep the smile from her face.

Returning from the kitchen moments later holding a child-sized cup Keaghan proudly called out, “Anyone want some hot chocolate?”

Wincing at the call to arms Neve braced herself what she knew was to come.  Not surprisingly within seconds of Keaghan’s rousing Liam had jumped up and started running towards the dining table.

“Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee” he squeaked hustling across the floor to his chair at the table.

“Traitor.” Neve muttered as her son swiftly took his seat at the table.

Placing a hand on her shoulder as he set the mug of hot chocolate in front of their son Keaghan laughed at his wife’s annoyance.

“What was that little miss bet loser?”

“Daddy it’s not nice to call mommy names.” Liam admonished as he gleefully brought his hot chocolate to his mouth.

Steering back around the table Keaghan took his seat at the head of the table.

“It’s ok mommy knows I’m only playing with her. Don’t you mommy?”

“Yes, daddy is just teasing mommy.” Neve added smiling supportively at her son.

She and Keaghan had been trying to be diligent in their efforts to teach Liam right from wrong, playfulness from seriousness.  They wanted him to have the strongest foundation off of which he would build depth of character and starting as early as they were was, in their opinion, the best way to go about it.

“Daddy you shouldn’t tease mommy, it’s not nice.” Liam admonished his top lip covered with whipped cream from his drink.

Glad that her son was wise enough to recognize that the teasing was good-natured Neve still reveled in his protectiveness towards her.

“That’s right daddy, you shouldn’t tease mommy.” She smiled as she reached across to pat her son’s little hand.

Leaning across the corner of the table Keaghan hovered just next to his wife and whispered lowly into her ear, “Believe me when the time comes there won’t be any teasing involved.”

Blushing slightly Neve turned and slapped the real estate section across his arm.

“Keaghan.” She admonished in a low whispered tone as her husband remained unfaltering in his chair.

Waggling his eyebrows suggestively at his wife before sipping his coffee Keaghan smiled widely before turning his attention back to their son.

“How’s that hot chocolate Sprout?”

“Yummy.” Liam responded between gulps of the hot sugary liquid.

Not remotely surprised by the response to his question Keaghan nodded and pushed Liam’s bowl closer to his tiny frame.

“Well make sure you eat your cereal too.”

Not yet relenting by putting down the small mug Liam provided his assurance, “I will Daddy, I promise.”

Focusing his attention back on his breakfast Keaghan shoveled some eggs and bacon into his mouth.

“I’ve circled some possibilites in there but you should look as well.” Neve announced as she slid the real estate section towards him, “Pick the ones you think we should see and I’ll start making some calls.”

Flipping through the pages of the paper Keaghan began to scan the advertisements. Agreeing with Neve on her selections he also circled several she had passed by.

Sliding the section back in her direction when done he rose and cleared away his plate, “I think those should about do it.”

Flipping open the page Neve looked over his choices.  She knew his tastes always ran more extravagantly then hers but his selections surprised her none-the-less.

“Keaghan these are far too expensive and way too big.  We certainly don’t need a six bedroom house.”

Taking hold of his now empty coffee cup he placed it atop the plate he was carrying.

“It gives us room to grow.”

“Grow what? A litter?” Neve spat out as she threw her napkin on the table haphazardly.

Taken aback by her bitter toned response Keaghan replaced the dishes he held back on to the table.  Seizing the paper back from her he whipped the pages apart until he arrived back where he started.  Taking the pen he’d left on the table he started crossing over each he’d circled with a large X until none of his suggestions were left.  Dropping the pen back on top of the newsprint he took back his dishes.

“You’re right what was I thinking.  Three bedrooms it is.”  he agreed dejectedly.

Retreating from the table he barely heard Neve start to breathe out his name.

“Keagha….” She whispered softly immediately hurt herself as he flinched when she reached for him.

Unsure if she should go after him Neve watched silently as he retreated down the hall to their bedroom.  Looking towards their son happily shoveling cereal into his mouth between gulps of hot chocolate Neve knew the answer when heard the door silently snap shut.  She definitely shouldn’t follow.

“Mommy, why is daddy upset?” Liam asked with a mouthful of Cheerios.

Running her fingers through his hair to press the errant strands down she smiled wanly, “I think mommy just hurt daddy’s feelings.

Baby Still Mine Rough Chapter Outline

1.    Keaghan/Neve/Liam – lazy Sunday Morning browsing real estate section
2.    Keaghan/Neve – discuss AI; Neve is anxious and unready
3.    Keaghan/Redmon – upset Neve wants to wait
4.    Neve/Selene – Neve expresses fears re: AI
5.    Keaghan/Liam – father/son outing
6.    Keaghan/Neve – house hunting
7.    Keaghan/Neve – revisit possibility of conception; Neve still no; Keaghan frustrated
8.    Neve/Liam – mother/son outing
9.    Neve/Mena – doctor’s appointment; Neve expreses fears; Keaghan in dark
10.     Neve/Keaghan/Liam – family time
11.     Keaghan/Mena – Mena calls for Neve; Keaghan suspicious
12.     Neve/Mena – pre-AI prep
13.     Keaghan/Neve – Keaghan finds info on AI realizes he’s been kept in dark; Keaghan/Neve argue; Keaghan leaves & stays out all night
14.     Neve/Keaghan – Neve worries all night; Keaghan comes home (was not where she thought)
15.     Keaghan/Liam – bedtime story (wedding)
16.     Keaghan/Liam/Neve – distance between parents; Liam notices and is his usual inquisitive self
17.     Neve/Selene – discuss issue; Selene aptly points out how Keaghan must be feeling (re: history repeating)
18.     Keaghan/Redmon – discuss issue, giving Neve space to move at own pace
19.     Keaghan/Neve/Liam – annual trip to beach house (gift from Keaghan for wedding)
20.     Keaghan/Neve – 1st real in depth conversation about conflict
21.     Keaghan/Liam – Keaghan teaches Liam to surf
22.     Neve/Liam – Liam bedtime story about his daddy saving them; Keaghan overhears
23.     Keaghan/Neve – discuss movement on AI issue; Keaghan acquiesces on issue but is saddened by it
24.     Keaghan/Neve/Liam – Keaghan still sad and distant
25.     Keaghan/Neve/Liam – housewarming party
26.     Keaghan/Neve – discuss baby; move forward
27.     Keaghan/Neve/Mena – doctor’s appointment
28.     Keaghan/Neve/Liam – dinner chatter
29.     Keghan/Neve/Mena – AI procedure
30.     Keghan/Neve – procedure fails
31.     Neve/Keaghan – discuss disappointment
32.     Neve/Liam – playtime at the pool
33.     Keaghan/Neve – discuss second procedure
34.     Keaghan/Neve – AI procedure #2
35.     Keaghan/Neve – discuss viability of moving forward; Neve depressed
36.     Keaghan/Redmon – discuss disappointment; discuss concern for Neve
37.     Selene/Neve – visits at Keghan’s request to check on her
38.     Keaghan/Neve/Liam – Liam’s birthday; Neve still depressed
39.     Keaghan/Neve – Keaghan says no more AI will adopt
40.     Keaghan/Neve – AI procedure #3
41.     Keaghan/Neve/Mena – news that procedure takes
42.     Keaghan/Neve/Liam – family time
43.     Keaghan/Neve/Liam – discuss addition to family; Liam struggles with thought of not being only child
44.     Keaghan/Neve – Post AI checkup; all is well
45.     Keaghan/Neve/Liam – working on the nursery
46.     Keaghan/Neve/Liam – family time; just for Liam; Liam acts out
47.     Neve/Selene – morning sickness
48.     Neve/Mena – doctor’s appointment; onset of complications
49.     Neve/Keaghan – discuss medical issues
50.     Neve/Liam – monther/son bonding
51.     Neve/Keghan – sonogram; sex of baby determined; medical complications further brought to light
52.     Keaghan/Redmon – discuss Keaghan’s fears for Neve and baby
53.     Keaghan/Neve – discuss how to move forward with med complications
54.     Keaghan/Neve/Liam – discuss what is going on with baby and Neve’s status
55.     Neve/Selene/Mena – girls day in
56.     Keaghan/Neve – Keaghan finds Neve incapacitated; fear that history really is repeating self
57.     Keaghan/Neve/Mena – at hospital; Neve ok
58.     Keaghan/Neve – discuss future and how to move forward if something happens
59.     Keaghan/Neve/Liam – family time
60.     Keaghan/Neve/Liam – new baby born

Where We Started in “Baby of Mine”

Neve is a well-respected medical research professor at NYU, something of a child prodigy she attended undergrad at Princeton starting at the age of 15. Working through pre-med then medical school at Harvard she distinguished herself enough to practice by 25. Though she still consults with major medical facilities her love of learning has brought her to academia.

Keaghan is also a wunderkind in his own right. Moving up through the ranks at NYU’s medical center he’s already earned himself the title of rising star. His arrogance is tolerable only because his skill as a surgeon allow for it. As luck would have it he had one patient that required more than surgical skill and as a result Neve was called in to consult on drug-based therapies.

Neve and Keaghan had what could only be described as a cat/dog relationship whereby he wanted in her pants and she didn’t have any use for him. Not one for casual sex she turned him down at every turn – which of course only spurned him on more. Over the course of their time together professionally a genuine respect, admiration and attraction grew between them and despite knowing Keaghan would not commit to her in a monogamous relationship Neve gave into her desires physically.

Much back and forth ensues (think on again off again type stuff) where they continue a sexual relationship without commitment (though neither were seeing anyone else) until finally Keaghan admits that he loves Neve and she does in return as well. They then embark on a full-scale committed relationship.

As is the case with any relationship the idea of progressing to more rears its ugly head. Neve, over time determines she wants a child and Keaghan holds firm to the fact that he does not (his reasoning being that he feels his own family life predestines him to fail as a father). They breakup over it and Neve moves forward in the process of artificial insemination.

Neve is supported by her friend Selena, a working mother (like she herself will be) who has had trouble conceiving. Though their lives professionally are different they find they are similar in many other ways.

After a failed attempt at conception, and a miscarriage after one successful insemination Keaghan is drawn back to Neve and they begin to rebuild their relationship. As they are rebuilding she goes through AI once again and is successful, just as Keaghan realizes he’s ready to be a father.

Keghan has come to this revelation as a result of sound advice from Redmond, a man whose life somewhat mirrors his own. Also a commitment phobe he became a reluctant father when he finally settled down with the love of his life. His experiences are shared with Keaghan who finally recognizes how to overcome his fears.

Keaghan and Neve continue to grow closer, her pregnancy progresses into complications and he is faced with making major medical decisions for both she and the child he has grown to love as his own. In the end she and the child come out the other end unscathed and Keaghan finally proposes marriage so they can be together as a family.

Where We’re Going in “Baby’s Still Mine”

Set three years after Keaghan has proposed he and Neve are happily married with Liam a typically active little boy. Keaghan’s career is still going strong, however Neve decided to scale back and stay at home more with their son. Now Keaghan has decided he would like to try for another child and Neve, is not so sure. The difficulties encountered (emotionally and physically) with her last pregnancy has her hesitant. The story will go through the many events of a growing family: the decision to go forward or not (relationship conflicts and medical ramifications), Liam’s reaction, house-hunting, father-son and mother-son bonding, working through the AI process, pregnancy & complications, etc.

A rough outline to follow in a separate post

Without further ado I present:

Keaghan

Keaghan is a 32 year old heart surgeon who has taken after his father and is becoming nationally recognized for his abilities. Comes from wealth. His mussed up brown hair and dark eyes certainly go a long way in showcasing his movie star looks (long lashes and full pouty lips included). He’s tall at 6 foot 2 and most comment on the fact that he has a swimmers body.

He’s been lonely his entire life, his mother having passed away and his father leaving him to his own devices shortly after. As a result he’s lead the life of a womanizer — no real long-term relationships for him. He’s led a relatively solitary existence in which he’s purposely avoided commitment (personal not professional) and family (thin building his own).
He’s brash, cocky, arrogant, dedicated, hard-working, witty, loyal, guarded, honest (to a fault), spontaneous, and carefree. There’s far more to him underneath the hard exterior he portrays to everyone though (emotional, tender hearted.)

Neve

Neve is a 31 year-old medical school professor, she is a child prodigy who began attending Princeton undergrad at the age of fifteen then went on to Harvard for medical school. Practicing medical research by the time she was 25 she is well known in the community for her meticulous nature and tendency to over analyze. Her dark hair and eyes coupled with her petite frame (she’s 5 foot 2 inches) tends to feed into the perception that she is not quite as capable as other more seasoned and “experienced” medical professionals.

Having watched her parent’s demise she was left to grow up with her over-protective Uncle. As has always been the case in her life she maintains a small group of core friends and navigates troubled relationships with men (darn those commitment and abandonment issues). She’s fiercely independent and struggles with allowing people to participate in her life – particularly where there are large sweeping decisions to be made.

She’s compassionate, loyal, trust-worthy, cautious, straight-laced, guarded, passionate, dedicated, emotional, ethical, opinionated and sharp tongued. Among many other traits I’m sure will be found as we work together

Liam

Liam is Neve and Keaghan’s child conceived through artificial insemination and is not Keaghan’s biologically. He is the typical little boy who gets into everything. He’s inquisitive (maybe a bit nosey), energetic, talkative, and territorial of his parents. He’ll share his toys but doesn’t want to share his parents’ love.

Selene

Selene’s name is Greek for “goddess of the moon” and a goddess she is – larger than life some would say. Her overwhelming presence is felt in any room. She runs her family’s corporate empire, is wealthy, and had trouble conceiving her daughter, single-mother, decisive, insightful, brash but compassionate, sly, devious.

Though not initially close friends she and Neve found a kinship over the inability to conceive. Selene provided Neve with support as she worked through may of the same issues in life (conception, commitment phobe boyfriend, troubled pregnancy and single motherhood).

Redmon

Redmon is an older gentleman, experienced, worldy, not wanting to be tied down (freedom lover), quirky, sly, devious, self-centered, bar owner, father of three adult children whom he did not always take an active role in parenting.

A reluctant role-model and support system for Keaghan he provides insight into absent parenthood, love of a good woman, not becoming your parents, and the flight-or-fight theory of family.

Mena

Mena is an (mee-nah) OB/GYN, serial dater, no children or long term relationships of her own, outspoken (she has no filter so many times is perceived as rude). Her Asian roots call for tradition and family yet she has not yet fulfilled either responsibility she’s single, sexy, flirty, outgoing – maybe even a bit too much of each.

As Neve’s doctor and close friend she partnered with Selene to help Neve move forward with her insemination.